Energy Drink Shootout

Introduction
If you've ever found your reflexes slowing down around 3AM at a LAN party, woke up in the wrong lane during a seven-hour drive, or found yourself still yawning after lunch at work, this article is for you. A few weeks ago, nub pitched the idea of an energy drink comparison review to me, and I thought it was a great idea. So we decided to review the most common energy drinks; the ones that you invariably see whenever you go to the grocery store or stop in to refuel at the gas station. For this comparison, we selected Monster Energy, Rockstar, Sobe Adrenaline Rush, Red Bull, Full Throttle, and Starbucks Doubleshot. You may notice that some of the drinks are smaller cans (around 8oz.) while some are a great deal larger (16oz.), and are wondering why we'd compare them alongside one another. The reason is that all the drinks reviewed are in the same price range (around US$2.00 per can if bought by the can). We feel that you should get the same quality and satisfaction for your money, no matter which drink you buy. If a company believes that their product is good enough to sell half the quantity of its competitors' size product for the same price, then we'll hold them to that.

For our review, we've given you a little bit of background info on our state of mind and body during the testing periods, how much we paid (although prices will vary by store, region, and country), the major "energy" ingredients in the drink and the amounts thereof, and both impressions and ratings of the taste and aftereffects of each drink. One thing to note: on the 16oz. drinks, companies usually state that each can contains two servings. While it makes sense for them based on a health marketing and liability standpoint, for all intents and purposes a canned drink is one serving to just about everyone under normal circumstances. So bear in mind while reading that the ingredient levels are based per can, not per "serving". Also, we started to include information such as how many calories, or how much sugar and sodium was in each drink, but realized: if you're drinking an energy drink (or any canned beverage besides something like V8, really) then you're obviously not too terribly focused on how it's going to impact your overall health. I don't care if you do drink the "low carb" version. If you're after an energy boost and want to do it in a healthy manner, then get the right amount of sleep, exercise, and drink nothing but water and juice drinks. If you need something to pop your eyes open or pump you up for a few hours, buy an energy drink. That being said...we bought a lot of energy drinks. So without further ado, we at Gamer Bait give you our humble reviews. First up is Monster Energy.

Monster Energy
Glock's Review
The Setup: Let's see...not really all that sure what sort of thing is pertinent, actually. Physically, I'm 5'10" tall (178cm) or so and 150 lbs. (68kg). I usually drink either water or orange juice; no soft drinks or energy drinks unless I'm on vacation, and the only energy drink I'd had prior to doing this review was Red Bull. I work from 40 hours a week; 6AM until 2:30PM (with a half hour for lunch) on weekdays, and began my review at the beginning of my Thursday shift. Prior to trying that day, I had slept 4-5 hours every night starting on Sunday night, which is normal for me. My alarm goes off at 5:10AM and I'm out of bed by 5:20 or 5:30.
Size: 16oz.
Cost:
Single Can: $1.76
Per oz.: $0.11
Four-pack: $6.96
Per Can: $1.74
Per oz.: $0.11
What's in the Beast: Sugars (54g), Taurine (2000mg), Panax Ginseng (400mg), "Energy Blend" of L-Carnitine, Glucose, Caffeine (140mg), Guarana, Inositol, Glucuronolactone, and Maltodextrin (5000mg)
The Taste: Sweet, citrusy (it's a word, I swear), and smooth. Like they melted cotton candy into a syrup and added it to a can of Mello Yello, but managed to keep it from becoming too sweet. You do taste the "active ingredients" such as caffeine, guarana, taurine, and ginseng, but they are by no means overpowering. The aftertaste? Hardly even worth mentioning, because it's gone so quickly, and isn't bad at all to begin with. I have to say that I really like the taste of Monster, and would drink it as easily as any of the soft drinks that I might normally drink. Score: 9
Aftereffects: To me it seemed like it was instant. Expecting a harsh-tasting energy drink, I actually found the taste refreshing, so that may just be a partially placebo response. But the feeling persisted and built upon itself after that, so I guess that doesn't really matter. Two of Monster's "Energy Blend" ingredients are fancy words for simple and complex sugars, which might be why you feel a rush so quickly. But all the energy drinks reviewed have about the same amount of sugar, so that only makes sense if Monster's got some sort of special balance going on between the simple and complex sugars that the others don't. If that's the case, then while that's burning off, it gives the caffeine/guarana and other ingredients time to affect you. The reason I group caffeine and guarana together is because guarana is basically just another caffeine source. Guarana extract contains "pure" natural caffeine, whereas standalone caffeine is usually procured from decaffeinating coffee or tea. But back to the matter at hand: the sugars jump-start you, and keep going while the other ingredients get "warmed up", I guess you could say. When I drank a can slowly beginning at 6AM throughout the morning of my Thursday shift, I experienced a quick pick-me-up and solid follow-through. I noticed a bit of hand jitter when I went to write down some machine configurations, but not much. I definitely felt as if I'd gotten a full night's sleep, and even felt a little energetic past that. When I drank one (quickly) on Saturday afternoon, I felt amped up and felt like I was up for pretty much anything. I didn't have any urges to go screaming down the street in my skivvies, but I did feel energized. Oddly enough I didn't feel any hand jitter whatsoever. I think the reason for this is that I had not eaten yet Thursday morning when I had the drink, and had already eaten a burger for lunch a couple of hours before I had the Monster on Saturday. Score: 9

nubulicious' Review
The Taste: This is probably the best tasting energy drink out there. It has more flavor than red bull, yet it still more suttle than Sobe Adrenaline Rush. Its hard to describe the taste, so just go out an buy one it wont dissappoint. Score: 9
Aftereffects: Once again I believe this drink is superior in this category to most of the stuff you find on the shelf next to it. It has just enough for you to get the job done, but its not so overwhelming that you will loose 10Ib in the next two days. I, as most people, get up pretty early and need something to wake me up for the long day ahead. Ive tried many things, anything from coffee to caffeine mints, but nothing feels right. That is except Monster, this thing will wake you right up, not leave a nasty aftertaste and make your workday go by just a little faster. The only downside is the $2 price, it would take about $40 a month to support the habbit, which compared to a can of coffee is much more expensive. So if you have the means go ahead and make your morning a Monster morning. Score: 9.5

Overall Gamer Bait Score: 9

Next up: Rockstar